Looking for ways to deal with anger? Did you know anger is a very healthy emotion if it doesn’t get out of control that is?
There are a lot of people in the world that need help with this emotion.
Anger can range from feeling irritated to rage. It is the rage stage that is destructive to yourself and those around you.
Anger avoidance is when you can’t express how you are feeling and cover it up with over eating or unnecessary shopping.
Being angry is also an emotion if experienced often enough, can and will age you.
When you begin looking for ways to deal with anger, you are taking the first step to understanding yourself a little bit better every day.
The emotion of anger can feel as though it is always someone else’s fault. It can feel like it comes from out there, around you, other people, experiences. Only it does not come from outside ourselves, it comes from within.
When you feel angry towards someone, it is the feelings deep down inside, feelings you have chosen to ignore. This might be feeling inadequate, frustrated, not valued, worthless, disappointed or worried.
It is feelings you have about yourself that make you feel angry. Not the other person, who has said or done something you don’t like. It is easy to blame someone else for how you feel.
This is what you are really angry about, looking at yourself is the first step to finding ways to deal with anger.
In fact, blaming is just an excuse for not taking responsibility. You have a choice, and you can choose to allow anger to take over, and you can choose to respond to a certain situation using this emotion.
Once you learn to take responsibility for being angry, once you make a conscious decision. You will find it easier to give yourself help with anger. Own it, acknowledge it and accept it, don’t use it as an excuse.
Ways To Deal With Anger
The next time you feel yourself getting angry, because the kids are not cooperating, or your friend said something you didn’t like, your partner brought home the wrong butter.
Stop and allow yourself to pause, as hard as it may seem, pause and notice what you are feeling, just for a second, be in the now. That second you take to stop and notice will make all the difference.
The trick is, to get into the practice of pausing and it does take practice.
Once you begin to practice pausing before reacting, you will find over time, you will automatically pause every time you begin to feel yourself reacting.
It may not seem like that pause is making much of a difference, but it is. Because each time you begin to feel angry, you will pause and allow yourself time to work out which way you want to go.
Now that you have paused, walk away and ask yourself a question. “What do I believe to be true for me, that causes me to feel this way?”
When you ask yourself the question, an answer will probably not come straight away. It may come later on, maybe the next day, you will have a light bulb moment.
All of a sudden you will have the answer. It could be because you are unhappy with where you are in your life now or feeling stressed because of a sick family member. Whatever the reason, and there is one, it will come to you.
There are many ways to deal with anger, I find stopping and asking myself a question about the situation. Is a great way to understanding myself and getting to know me better.
What we tend to not notice in our daily lives, is when we react a certain way to a situation. We find many other situations coming into our experience to react to.
We end up reacting the same way, every time. If it’s with anger, then this is what it shall be. You will find plenty of moments in your reality to be angry about.
Dealing with anger is when you don’t allow it to take you over when you see it as an emotion you really do choose to use.
Need Help With Anger
Find out where your anger comes from. Is it because you are feeling frustrated with your life, maybe you feel everybody else has it easy and you don’t.
Perhaps you feel unworthy, unloved, not deserving, unhappiness with yourself, frustration at not being able to articulate yourself.
If you want to make changes in your life, if you want help with anger, you have to look within, there is no other solution.
You can definitely go searching for answers somewhere else, but you will always, always, come back to you.
You also have a choice of either looking at yourself, or you can choose to go on living with your anger and be in denial and blame everyone and everything on why you are feeling this emotion.
Blaming what is going on around you for being angry is fine, many people do this, I was one of them.
Yet, somewhere, somehow, one day, you must wake up and understand what is going on around you to provoke the anger. It is coming from you as you are the creator of your life.
Steps To Deal With Anger Issues
– Exercise (may or may not work for you).
– Think before you speak (becomes easier the more you practice).
– Don’t drink alcohol. (this one makes sense).
– Take time out (just walk away, pause).
– Try not to curse or swear and replace with more positive language.
– Remember the situation will pass, and your anger will prove pointless in the end.
I once attended ‘Anger Management’ classes many years ago. I was desperate to find ways to deal with anger.
The problem I found with these types of classes. They don’t really help you dive within to find out what it is about yourself you are angry about.
Being Responsible For My Emotions
I am accountable for how I respond to other people.
Over the years, nothing was changing, I was always feeling this emotion. I was always reacting the same way to situations in my life.
I was like one of the characters in the film ‘Groundhog Day’ where the weatherman, played by Bill Murry, lives the same day over and over. In fact, most of us live this way.
When you comprehend something has to change when you look at your life. You begin to see you are angry and have been for years, and with this realisation, slowly things begin to shift.
Looking for ways to deal with anger will happen when you see the destruction it is causing you and your family.
For some people, anger has been with them for so long, it is dismissed as a normal emotion. Which it is, but when it is continually used against other people, it becomes more than a normal emotion.
You can excuse yourself when you lash out at someone, by telling yourself and the other person, your anger is just a habit. Although it is no longer a habit, once you become conscious of what you are doing.
Take a look at yourself first, do not look outwards, do not blame others. Over time, you will slowly replace what you are feeling with love and understanding
Remember, always look within first when looking for ways to deal with anger.